Super Mario High School Story
by Raphadelia the Adventuress
Summary: Another high school story? I think not. See Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, and company as they work together to discover the secrets of the real world (that is, if they don't tear each other apart first!) Rated M for major swearing and other adult related themes. (Nothing too graphic)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, hey! How's it going? I would hope well! Anyway, enough of my yammering. Well maybe it's a little necessary...**

**Before I go on, for those who have read my other stories...I want you to know this one is MAJORLY different...I don't even know what to rate it. I'm gonna start with T..but re-read the rules and change it if necessary.**

**Hi, I'm Raphadelia the Adventuress, and I am writing my first Mario Fanfiction...well I've had this idea for years...it's only now I'm actually showing it to the world. Now before we carry on, I want you to know this is a parody...yes that was already established, but it is rated M because of A LOT of cursing, drug-relations, and so on. I normally don't use swear words on a basis, but for the sake of my laziness I didn't star everything out...So it is uncensored...sowwy...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any character from the Mario series (Exception being my OC and my friend's OC)...Nintendo does...and they're awesome...So on With it then!**

* * *

**Welcome To Super Mario High School**

Hey, what's up. My name is Mario, you know _the_ motherfucking Mario, savior of the fucking universe. Anyway enough of the fucking résumé and shit, let's just get on with this.

My name is Mario and I go to Super Mario High School. Yeah pretty awesome right? I bet you don't have a school named after you, do you? _Jealous_? Thought so, but stop being salty and get over it.

I go here with just about every other character from my video games that you know, and some extra bitches but the main crew I hang out with are pretty okay. Like my lame ass brother Luigi, my dumbass, bitchass, motherfucking blond girlfriend Peach, Luigi's crazy ass girlfriend Daisy, Rosalina, I don't know who the fuck she is, but she hangs out with me anyway. Then there's the extra bitches, Princess Zaneba, and Princess Delia. Like where the fuck did you fucking come from?

Anyway, there are also the jackasses that go to my school like Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings, but that's not all.

In our high school there's pretty much a bunch of crazy shit we do, but hardly go to class, like seriously. Teachers can't tell us to go to class because half of us either own the school, saved the world, or would kick their ass if they tried. I fit in all of those categories by the way...

Now, apparently there's some stuff you should know about our school like the fact that if you get caught using powers you get expelled or some shit, but I'm all like 'I'm fucking Mario! I saved the damn world! Scratch that, Universe! All Universes!'.

It's nothing like in the games though, that's for sure. If I touch a spike in real life, I don't bounce off and say 'ow', I touch that shit and really hurts like a motherfucker.

Although, there are some perks to this real life shit. In the game when you win, Peach doesn't show you any kind of love besides a thanks and maybe a fucking kiss on the cheek. What the fuck?! Hell no man. In real life I take Peach in the bathroom and make her scream, if you know what I mean. Haha, oh man, she's such a garden tool...

Oh wait, back to the school. We were talking about powers and shit. Well in real life there aren't any heavy ass bricks you can hit that'll just give you the powers. Here we call those powers, drugs, and we take them whenever we feel its necessary. And their easier to get no matter what size you are, because the teachers hand them out! It's like the only power source you can use on campus without getting ratted out. Only thing is, you can't take Staroids. You know the star thingies you see on the games that destroy everything and whatever. In real life one bite of it and you can legit kill someone, which is why the teachers don't give those out to students. (If you want Staroids, you gotta go talk to my buddy Yoshi, the dude has secret stashes everywhere... Don't tell no one I said anything, or I will hunt every last one of you fuckers down!...)

Moving on about our school, next we have our ever so brilliant activity list: Karting, fucking in the bathroom, study hall, getting high in the bathroom, gym, fighting in the hall, creative arts, and jerking off. However, only the lonely losers do that last thing, so whatever you do don't be them.

All of these activities are welcomed at our school (except for jerking off) and are acceptable by all means; even the princesses do it.

Bowser Jr. and Princess Delia can always be found in one of the bathrooms doing each other...or it's more like Delia rapes Bowser Jr. and he doesn't fight back because no one wants him.

So that's our school it's not hard to miss, I'm sure you'll find it to be great bliss. See what I did there? That shit fucking rhymed, I'm the next fucking Shakespeare! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get stoned while anally fucking Princess Peach. Should be fun.

* * *

Yo, I'm Princess Daisy. You look at me funny, I'll kick your ass. Talk about me bad, I'll kick your ass. Wink at my boyfriend and I find out about it, I'll kick your ass and rip you damn eyes out! Anyway I'm going to explain about our school's athletic system, because that's where I'm always at when I skip class. The gym.

Even though I don't get stoned or laid at school, doesn't mean I don't take Luigi and force him into it at my castle, so don't think I'm lame for hanging out in the gym all day. I'm fucking Princess Daisy, I do what I want because I can kick your ass! Maybe not Mario's...he's fucking crazy to the tenth power.

Now what we do here at SMHS is pretty a-okay. We've got basketball, power tennis, hockey, softball, football, soccer, volleyball, wrestling, swimming, baseball, karting, fencing, and of course cheerleading. Okay, so some people say cheerleading isn't a really sport, it's just a bunch of girls in short skimpy skirts cheering on their team. And what I have to say you, if you do think that is: FUCK YOU!

Cheerleading is a requirement to all princesses because our principal is an old pervert and Peach does him in his office every Thursday when Mario has to skip school to save the world.

Now can anyone guess who he is? If you said Bowser, give yourself a pat on the back, because you're fucking wrong! Bowser's is the motherfucking Vice Principal! Toadsworth is our principal! And he's freaking old and crabby and takes enjoyment in seeing our princesses cheer in the tightest and shortest shorts ever, and I don't do skirts, I barely do gowns!

Anyway, of all those teams there is one single captain that reigns superior over them all: me. So listen up and listen well, you want to join a team here, you gotta go through me because I'm funding all the fucking athletic shit!

Where was I again? Right, cheering is a requirement to all princesses, blah blah, and monsters and the Mario Bros are allowed on the football team. Remember that and cry about it! If you don't own a kingdom, or are a rough tough monster, no joining football or cheerleading! So go join another team if you're not either one!

Daisy out motherfuckers!

* * *

Luigi time! Hyia, my name is Luigi, and I am co-owner/founder/funder/Student Counsel President of Super Mario High School. With all that great power, there is an even greater responsibility, plus a chance to get free icee cups at lunch!

Now, I am more than willing to explain to the youth audience of our current enrollment opportunities. Is this a chance for you to be seen in our together story along with me and my friends? Of course, but what can we offer you as a student here?

Well we have our very own student lounge, that was pulled responsibly from our school funding, multiple tennis courts, five karting tracks, and a roller coaster! Laughing out loud, I'm only kidding about the roller coaster, but we indeed have many other divisions at our school that may entice you to join us.

But remember to do so you must choose at the most **three extra curricular activities,** **one sport/club,** and **four required core classes**. These courses should all add up to a total of eight periods a day, which I'm sure you will find more than enjoyable!

Current available courses are listed below:

**_Core Classes_**

*one of each

**Mathematics**

Algebra I B

Geometry

Algebra II/Trig

Pre-Calculus

Calculus

Statistics

**Science**

Biology

Physics

Chemistry

Anatomy

**History**

World History

Mario History

Political Science

Government

**English**

English 9

English 10

English 11

English 12

Shakespearean (3 English credits required)

**_Extracurricular/Clubs_**

Karting

Band

Choir

Drama

Art

Student Counsel

E.V.I.L (Every Villian Is Lemons)

Koopas Unite

Boo off!

Lemonade Club

And I believe that, my girlfriend has covered all the athletic properties, so it would be superfluous to go on with that list. I hope you find your classes pleasing as you choose them, and remember you are required to choose eight.

Until next time!

* * *

**Alright, everything he just said...throw it out of the fucking window!**

**Ugh, Luigi needs to get his life in order, because he obviously loves to waste time with useless crap.**

_I know right!_

**Anyway, Deli' tell the nice people who you are and we can rap this puppy up.**

_Fine by me. I'm Princess Delia, only my friends can call me Deli'. If you call me that, I'll break every bone in your body like a toothpick!_

**Cool it girlfriend. I'm Princess Delia's best friend, Princess Zaneba. We are like the main crew you never see in the games-**

_So Original Characters?_

**Yeah, sure. Anyway, we are on the stupid Student Counsel too, as the secretaries and treasurers.**

_The roles had to be doubled up for us because we're close BFFs._

**I guess so, but then again no one else would join this stupid thing, and Luigi suckered us in!**

_Can we get on to the admissions administrator's job, my feet are hurting..._

**Should've wore flats instead if high heels.**

_We can wear flats with our ball gowns?! Holy Moon Pools! I wish I would've known that!_

**So registry begins simple, like Delia's love life.**

_-_-"_

**It starts out with a name and, oh forget this shit! I'm not gonna do this with poetic justice or whateves! Take the enrollment sheet and get outta here!**

_Nice way to show your compassion as a princess!_

**I'm sorry I can't think straight when Peach is climbing on the desk, KNOCKING OVER MY SHIT!**

_Let's just fill out this enrollment sheet before Zaneba rips Peach in half..._

* * *

_We start of course with you name:_

**Name** (_This includes your status/species i.e., Larry Koopa or Princess Peach. It's okay if you don't have one, just let me know_)**:**

**Species** (_human, Boo, Toad, Koopa, dinosaur thing_)**:**

**Personality:**

**Appearance:**

**Age **(13-19)**:**

**Grade:**

**Courses** (optional)**:**

**Extracurricular Activities** (some-what optional)**:**

**Friends** (optional)**:**

**Crushes/Relationship partner** (the obvious such as Mario and Co. are not available for relationships for obvious reasons)**:**

**Good Guy/Bad Guy:**

**Kingdom you live in **(Koopa, Mushroom, Blooper...)**:**

**Other** (_We must know any other additional information, like allergies to power drugs, before teachers can hand them out_)**:**

_And that should conclude the list. Sorry if I seem a little formal right now, Luigi says he won't give us the credit for this stupid club if we don't speak in a royal manner. And I want to graduate next year!_

_Otherwise, I hope you find our school to be what you're looking for, and yada yada. If you'll excuse me I'm gonna go get high in one of the girls' bathrooms. Au revoir_!

* * *

**Alright, I hope I uncensored everything...I think I'm gonna triple check the rules again for swearing...**

**I do not promote the use of drugs, don't do them! That's all I have to say on the topic... Another thing, using curse words in a public conversation is very uncivilized and impolite... XD I know I'm being a hypocrite due to what I just wrote...but I thought it'd be fun to write this so it stays.**

**Oh! Now I remember, if you wish to sign up for this High School, the enrollment sheet was just given to you...I accept anyone of anywhere... Just know if I get like a million entries it will be hard to like put them all in the story, but I can try!**

**I****f anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to them...just try not to be cruel...I'm a little sensitive...**

**Until next time?**

**~Raphadelia the Adventuress**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Raphadelia is the name and Power Tennis is my game! XD I love that spin-off of Mario to the fullest, and apparently our Princess Daisy and Princess Peach does too. I kind of already wrote this chapter and edited it so its complete...sorry about not including OCs given to me. Chapter 3 hasn't been fully edited so I will definitely be adding both Manic and Noel Portman. Thank you guys for reading and reviewing (NOTE: The M rating will stay, sorry about earlier mix-ups...I asked my brother and he suggested T, but I got a review saying it should be otherwise...Thanks, because I really don't wanna be reported for the badness this story is)**

**1-Up!**

* * *

**Power Tennis**

A bright highlighter green tennis ball flew threw the air back and forth across the net. It was a late school afternoon, and Peach and Daisy were enjoying the many perks of SMHS, Power Tennis. Peach giggled as the ball bounced out of her reached. "Oh Daisy you'll never learn will you?" She blew a kiss to her friend and translucent hearts began to emerge from around Peach to the ball, then bringing the ball into her arm reach as the princess passed the ball back to Daisy.  
Daisy rolled her eyes. "As if." She muttered swinging at the ball at full strength.  
Peach flinched as the fast ball came back, thus giving Daisy the winning shot. "Game, set, and match!" Daisy gloated from the other side. "Yes! I WON! TAKE THAT BITCHES!"  
Peach stuck her tongue out and turned to their elderly principal who was refereeing the match. "She so didn't win, Toadsworth! Tell her she lost!" Peach demanded.  
The brown spotted toad nodded. "Peach is correct, Daisy. You lost." Daisy whipped around from her victory dance and glared at Peach. "What?! No fucking way! I won fair and square! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!"  
The toad looked nervous for a second. "Well uh...this is Peach Court, the rules are different here."  
Daisy sneered at the old toad. "I FUCKING PAID FOR THE INSTALLATION OF THIS COURT! SHE SIMPLY PATENTED AND STAMPED A PEACH LABEL ON IT! THAT BITCH DOESN'T EVEN PLAY SPORTS UNLESS YOU'RE AROUND TO WATCH HER FLAT ASS MOVE AROUND LIKE THE OLD PERVERT YOU ARE!"  
Toadsworth's eye twitched for a moment before he simply said. "Detention, Princess Daisy. Two hours everyday after school with me!"  
"You sick old man..." Daisy grumbled as she stormed to the locker rooms. "You're not getting any ass from me if that's what the fuck you think is gonna happen. I am _not_ gonna let you pull that shit with me motherfucker."  
Peach gave Toadsworth a seductive smile before sauntering her way off the court.

* * *

Princess Peach calmly walked into the the locker room waving at Daisy as she passed.  
"Bitch, don't wave at me like we're fucking friends!" Daisy snapped slamming her green gym bag to the floor.  
"We share lockers and all the same classes, we may as well get acquainted at some point." Peach giggled as she walked up to locker 8-8.  
Daisy tightened her grip on her racquet, but loosened it as she took a deep breath. "No Daisy...you're not going to go back to prison for attempted murder." Daisy snapped her head over to the blonde princess and forced a smile. "You know what you're right. You can stand there all you want on you're throne of lies, but at least I don't have to sleep with every teacher in this school passing on your filth, just to get whatever I want."

Peach slammed her locker shut and whipped around to face Daisy. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I. Don't. Have. To. Sleep. With. Everyone. To. Get. What. I. Want!"

Peach shook her head and smiled. "At least I don't suck for a buck."

Daisy picked up her racquet again and held it threateningly at the other princess, just as Princess Zaneba and Princess Delia walked in. "Whoa! We just get off the court and find a cat fight!" Delia purred entertained.

"Chill it Delia. What's the deal with you two, bitches?" Zaneba asked placing her hands on her hips.

"That hoe won in tennis because Toadsworth was judging!" Daisy growled.

Zaneba shrugged. "You know better than to play Power Tennis with the hoe who sleeps with every teacher on campus."

Peach looked offended. "Zaneba! How can you say such untruthful things!"

Delia kicked off her tennis shoes and slipped on her knee length boots. "Peach, don't play innocent this is an M rated fanfiction, just say what you need to say."

Peach clenched her teeth angrily. "Fine! Zaneba, you bitch! Who the fuck do you think you're calling a hoe?!"

Zaneba nodded slightly impressed. "Nice to see the peach fuzz finally go off. Good thing I didn't take you seriously, or else you'd be a dead hoe."

Peach growled and slammed her self down on the bench with her arms crossed.

Daisy patiently waited until Delia and Zaneba left the locker room, before talking to the blonde princess. "Zaneba might tolerate that shit from you but I'm seriously on the verge of kicking your scrawny ass all the way to the fucking center of the universe!"

Peach rolled her eyes and got back up to open her locker. "I'm tired of you and your sweaty gym socks stankin' up my locker! Now get rid of them or I'll help you with it!" Peach snapped at Daisy.

Daisy's eyes widened and she had to recollect herself before she spoke. "Bitch, who the fuck do you think you are fucking yelling at? I ain't yo' bitchass boyfriend Mario...wait let me take that back. I'm not fucking Luigi! I ain't gonna tolerate that shit and not whoop yo' ass!"

Peach placed her arms up challenging Daisy. "You wanna go? Because I'm still pumped from Power Tennis! I can beat you again!"

Daisy laughed harshly. "Honey, you're more delusional than your boyfriend. The score was 2-0. You couldn't play Power Tennis if it whacked you in the head with a racquet!"

Peach neatly took off her crown and placed it on the locker room bench. "You're asking for it, Daisy! Do you wanna solve this problem? Do you wanna solve it?!" She repeated for emphasis.

Daisy lifted her hands up in false surprise. "Oh my gosh, Princess Peach is tryin to step up to the plate! She wants me to stomp her. Well ask and you shall receive! Luigi ain't here to pull me back now! Come on!"

Just as Daisy was about to swing another princess...or celestial guardian...or whatever the fuck Roselina is, stepped in. "Hey girls...we can resolve this matter in a peaceful universal way. My Luma can calm your negative-"

Daisy turned to Roselina in disbelief. "Shut the front door with your face in it."

Roselina felt her face as if she could feel the pain. "Well then..." She muttered before walking away.

Peach made a face at the princess as she walked away. "She's such a skank..."

"Not as much as you with your craze for that over-aged, beast of all time. And you claim to be 'kidnapped'. Ever heard of bestiality?!"

Peach sneered at Daisy. "You're one to talk, Donkey Kong." She smirked while making ape movements.

"Oh, you got something on your face, let me-" Daisy grabbed Peach from the back of her pony tail and slammed her in the locker.

The weaker princess, which of course is Peach, struggled to get Daisy off, but the tomboy was much too strong for her.

* * *

About ten minutes later, Daisy calmly walked out of the locker room with her duffle bag slung over her shoulder. Whistling a classic Mario tune, the princess exited the school with the rest of her fellow classmates and met up with Luigi in front of the school.

The green dressed hero smirked at Daisy's attire, then facepalmed as he realized how disrespectful he was being. "Oh hey Daisy." He called to his girlfriend.

The princess smiled and tossed her bag in the backseat as she got in. "Hey." She replied leaning over and giving Luigi a long and passionate kiss.

When the lovers finally pulled apart, Luigi was prepared to pull off when he saw a ragged, battered, and bruised blonde princess stagger out of the building. "Oh my mushrooms! Princess Peach!" Before Luigi even opened his door, Daisy held him down. "Let's go, Luigi she doesn't need help."

"But she-"

"Nope, fine. Drive." Daisy demanded.

"Daisy, don't tell me you-"

"I beat the shit out of her, now let's go!" Daisy reached over and stomped hard on her boyfriend's foot that was about to press the accelerator.

Peach clung onto the stair step railing, attempting not to fall over in her sports flats. Her sports dress was torn at the shoulder where she tried to escape Daisy's wrath, her hair was a mess as a result of her fighting for her life. Even Peach's sports bracelet was barely hanging together.

As she attempted limp down to Mario's car, Zaneba laughed as she walked passed. "See, hoe. I didn't have to kick your ass, I let Daisy do it for me."

* * *

**Like I said, sorry I couldn't get anyone else in...I fully wrote this chapter before I even finished the first one XP...I purposely made Luigi and Roselina have a softer personality (there would honestly be too much brutality in this story for a bunch of high school students...)**

**And even though in the Power Mario Tennis game, Peach and Daisy work together fine...and Peach is pretty effing good -_-", I changed the attitudes because Daisy is such a tomboy...And Peach...yeah...**

**Until February 14th! (I'm updating all stories that day)**

**~Raphie Deli'**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sup Sup! How's it goin? I'm not gonna take long, but this chapter kinda sorta introduces one entry I got...however next chapter will introduce the others (which I will be posting today! As a Valentine's day gift) So here ya go! Chapter 3!**

* * *

**Waiting for First Period**

It was early morning at Super Mario High and Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Mario, and Luigi shared a table in the cafe area as they waited for the first period bell to ring.

Mario and Luigi were trying their best to stay awake, while Daisy was busying herself with her cell phone (Flappy Cheep Cheeps?), and of course Princess Peach was nerve-rackingly running off at the mouth.  
"Ugh, where's Delia? She said she'd meet us down here this morning!" Peach whined a bit annoyed.  
The red-head across from her folded her arms. "Why the fuck are you keeping tabs with Delia? She hates your fucking guts!"

Peach rolled her eyes at the tempered princess. "Honestly, how can your boyfriend stand you when you have such a potty mouth?"

This set off a broiling fire in the daisy emblemed princess. "AT LEAST MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND DOESN'T HAVE TO PUT HIS DICK IN AN INFESTED PUSSY!"

The two Mario brothers, who were watching this fight with disinterest, suddenly burst out with laughter.

"Oh shit! Peach you want me to take you to the nurse for that burn?" Mario asked cracking up again.

Luigi put a hand up to his face trying to shield his laughter from the embarrassed princess. "I'm sorry princess, but I admit Daisy does have you on that one."

"Fuck you Mario!" The princess in pink growled bitterly.

"When?" The red clad hero asked with a smirk.

As the group began to settle again, Delia, Zaneba, Roselina, and an unfamiliar face showed up.

"What's so funny?" Zaneba asked, placing a small hand on her rounded hips.

"I believe something was said about Princess Peach relating to her constant attraction to many different men, despite her 'tied down' status." Roselina guessed.

"And you'd be right." Daisy replied turning to the girl behind the three. "Who've ya got there? Never seen her before and already, I like her more than Peach."

The curvy, average-heightened girl stepped forward reveling her tan freckled face. "The name's Noel Portman, and getting stoned and rockin' hard is my game." She added a wink towards the boys for emphasis.

Mario and Luigi exchanged excited looks and offered a spot at their table. "Well Miss Noel, you may most definitely sit with us." The green hero offered.

"Yeah, take Peach's spot she was gonna leave anyway." Mario chuckled shoving his girlfriend off the bench and onto the floor.

Peach's face flushed at Mario's action towards her. "Then where am _I_ gonna sit?!"

"Under the table, from what I hear it's where you like to sit anyway!" Mario snarled. Peach folded her arms and began her crawl beneath the rounded table.

Noel sauntered over to the vacant seat and rested her hands on the table. "This is gonna be an awesome year."

"Indeed it is..." Luigi gawked.

Daisy whacked him in the back of his head making his hat fall off. "Stop staring ya man whore!"

Luigi grabbed his hat and looked down apologetically.

"Leave it to Princess Daisy to have all the guys whipped." Noel commented.

"Got that right." The red-head turned to Roselina, Delia, and Zaneba just as the trio were about to leave the cafe area. "Where are you bitches goin'?"

Delia motioned a medium-toned hand towards the door. "Uh, we gotta head back to the office. Student counsel stuff."

Daisy made a face. "They can wait, Luigi will make an exception, right 'igi?"

The green clad hero sighed and unwillingly nodded. "Fine, but Delia and Zaneba will have to leave soon. Those two are behind with three months worth of work!"

"Yeah yeah, 'igi." Zaneba mocked. "We'll get to it later."

"That's what you said three months ago..." Luigi muttered.

"There ain't no room at this table anyway." Delia huffed. "Especially for the spaced out junkie here."

Noel rolled her eyes. "Who are you calling a 'spaced out junkie'?"

Delia tilted her head towards the blond space explorer, then slapped Roselina's shoulder to stop the girl from daydreaming again. "Honestly you'd think she was high!"

Mario and Noel inwardly purred. "That sounds good right about now." They chorused.

Zaneba shook her head making her oil colored locks shudder along. "Shaking my head."

The group continued their idle chat, until the nerdy monkey, Diddy Kong, hopped over to the group. "'Sup friends!" He cheered towards the group.

"No one here likes you." Delia blurted first.

"I can't stand your face." Zaneba added.

"Yeah pretty much sums it up." Daisy put in.

Diddy Kong only laughed at the three's harsh statements. "You three are as funny as you are lovely. I came by to give out a friendly advisory, that today we will be having a one half hour presentation in the first period, taking up most of the class period. Please tell your friends, and have a great day." The monkey turned on his heels and bounced out of the room.

"Yes! Perfect chance to get stoned!" Mario cheered. "You in Noel?"

Before the punk rocker could answer, a shrill and angry voice shouted from beneath them. "Oh so you invite the new bitch, but you never ask me to get high with you?!"

Noel kicked beneath the table earning a painful squeal from the frailer girl. "Whoops foot must've slipped." She shrugged.

Daisy leaned over the table and high-gives the girl. "I like you already girlfriend. And the fact that you are wearing...some pretty sexy heels, Luigi remind me to get a pair today while we're out shopping during lunch...I know you had to have bruised the peach pretty good!"

Noel smiled. "I was hoping it would. Anyway, I am totally in on getting high with you for first period, Mario. Hey Rose-face! You in?"

The dazed girl jolted from another one of her spells and thought for a bit. "I dunno, I normally don't do drugs, nor skip classes. But I have student counsel for first period...So I guess I could, I have already completed all my work for today."

"Then stone away!" Luigi threw his hands up in a giving up motion. "Because our school practically promotes all the thing we _shouldn't_be doing! Go ahead Rosie, and get pregnant while your at it!" He snapped.

"What's go your panties in a knot?" Delia growled at the green clad.

His older red counterpart was about to answer when eight variant Koopas approached their table.

The humans gave the eight dubious looks, but Delia's green eyes froze on one in particular. The smallest of the Koopas hopped up and his stubby legs and showed off his single fang in delight. "Looks like the 'losers' table' has been distinguished this year." The other Koopas joined him in laughter.

"Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings...Hmph, I was beginning to think you wouldn't show your ugly faces this year."

The only girl of the group scoffed. "I dunno about the rest of my brothers, but I'm not ugly!"

The second smallest of the group bounced his yellow ball playfully. "Yeah, and Lemmy gets all the girls at this school. Maybe it's because of my big balls."

The rest of the group groaned, probably from hearing the joke a thousand times before.

Daisy glanced over at the daydreaming princess behind her. "I wouldn't say all of them. Delia! Delia! Son of a Birdo! Girl focus!"

The unfocused gaze of the Blooper-reigning princess snapped back into reality. "Whoa...Sorry, I was definitely not thinking about switching my alliance again and going bad guy... Definitely not..."

Zaneba gave the girl a suspicious glare. "Do I need to mark you down as the second girl to practice bestiality?"

Delia thought for a moment. "No...yes...no... I'm going to the office."

Bowser Jr. gave the leaving princess a curious grin. "She a princess?"

"Get the fuck outta here, stalker!" Daisy snapped.

"Don't think I don't have your number either, princess of the Sasafrass Kingdom!"

Daisy stood from her seat and stormed over to the little Koopa. "It's Sarasaland! And if I don't see your tiny little asses walking away from this table in the next five f-ing seconds! I'm gonna pop each and every one of you like pimples!" For emphasis, Daisy loomed over Lemmy Koopa and stomped his little ball to the ground.

"Looks like your 'balls' just got deflated!" Wendy O. Koopa giggled.

"I think we'll be next if don't scram!" The third smallest Koopa with a tall blue Mohawk squeaked.

"This ain't gonna be the last of us!" Bowser Jr. growled as he and his comrades escaped Daisy's wrath.

Noel made a face of disgust. "What's up with the turtle freaks?"

Daisy plopped down in her seat again. "Dunno they've got problems not even the Great Birdo can answer."

"Holy Mushrooms! I gotta get down to the media room!" Luigi announced unexpectedly. He grabbed his notebooks, textbook, and bag before hopping to his feet.

"Why?" Daisy asked.

"Uh, it's kind of a surprise... A little to do with today's announcements... See ya' Dais'."

Daisy turned back to the others at the table. "The fuck was that about?"

Zaneba rolled her icy blue eyes. "Makes ya kinda wanna not skip class to get high, or nah?"

Noel and Mario shook their heads. "Nah." Mario simply answered.

"Getting stoned is the only thing I can think of right now..." Noel zoned.

Zaneba pulled out her mPhone and checked an incoming text. "Ugh...Delia just texted me, the bells aren't working today. Mario, when the f- is the bell system gonna be fixed?"

"Do I look like I fucking run this shit? (Well I kinda do...) But I only have the school named after me! Ask fucking Toadsworth."

"Don't fucking snap at me like I fucking knew that shit! You and your damn slut having that fucking defensive ass problem!"

Noel held up her hands breaking the two apart. "Even though I'd normally encourage these kinds of things, no. You two need to to stop fighting, and take a chill pill." As she said this she grabbed a small compact from her back pocket and opened it revealing three chill pills, four fire pills, and a couple starbits. "Holy mushrooms! You carry those around with you in that little makeup whatever?!" Mario asked eagerly.

Noel offered him a sly smile and replied back. "Yes, not let's go find a place to set it ablaze."

Zaneba raised a hand denying them. "Ugh, I'll pass. Come on Daisy, Peach. Let's go see what Luigi has planned for us... Later brah."

"Lates." Noel waved and turned to Roselina. "Yo, Rose you in?"

Roselina blinked shyly before nodding. "Alright, fine."

* * *

**Okay, how was that? I hope I portrayed Noel very well...if not please PM me and tell me what I did wrong...The next chapter will be up in a moment...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright, second chapter! Hope you enjoy! Every other OC is introduced here XD**

* * *

**First Period**

Zaneba slung her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the cafe area with Daisy and Peach following. "I hate first period with a passion..." Zaneba groaned.

Princess Peach examined her nails as happily answered. "Oh why would you ever hate _that_ class? The hottest of the hot are in there! I'm sooooo jealous."

Daisy folded her arms. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You've got a good guy as your boyfriend who saves you from getting genital Herps from Vice Principal Loon."

"Who's that?" The princess asked daftly. Daisy flared and readily raised her fist to strike the princess when Zaneba pulled her back. "Save that for later Daisy, I don't want you missing out on your boyfriend's surprise."

Daisy's eyes pierced with hatred as she shoved Princess Peach out of her way.

"See you bitches later." Daisy grumbled as she angrily ripped open the Algebra II/Trig door and stormed in.

"Greetings Princess Daisy, it's nice of you to finally show up to cl-" Mr. Grambi's kind greeting was cut short when Daisy angrily tossed a desk from the back of the room at the chalkboard. "YOU DON'T KNOW MY FUCKING PROBLEMS! DON'T SAY SHIT TO ME, BITCH!"

Zaneba burst out in a laughing fit and continued down the hall, while Peach continue to watch Daisy's wrath unroll. Seeing her friend leaving her behind, Peach jolted in surprise and caught up to the fiery princess.

Zaneba groaned to herself as she heard the princess's heels click down the hall. She turned her icy blue eyes to the blonde and shook her head. "What do you want?"

The princess sweetly held her books to her chest as she answered. "I wanted to walk to first period with my best fri-"

"I hate you, get the fuck away from me. Your a sleazy, stupid ass hoe, and we aren't friends."

Peach gave Zaneba a look of false hurt. "What? I thought we were best friends!"

Zaneba balled her caramel fists until it almost hurt, then let out a deep breath. "The only reason why I'm not mercilessly beating the shit out of you right now, is because I can't hit you first!"

Peach gave the other princess a look of pure deviance. "What ever do you mean?"

"I promised Sparky I would only get into a fight if I was defending myself. And right now I'm so tempted to-"

The broiling princess was cut off by the screeching overhead.

"What up, students of Super Mario High School!? How's everyone this fine, Thursday? Suffering from a hangover?! I sure as hell am!" A slightly slurred voice spoke.

"Who the fuck is that?!" Zaneba wondered aloud, looking up at the intercom.

"The name is Azalea, and for the rest of year I'm doing the announcements! So get used to this sexy voice! Anyway, the old bag of frogs wants me to let all the students, faculty, and teachers-" she hiccuped and continued. "-know to turn on your televisions for the rest of the announcements! So if you're skipping class to get drunk or whateves...text me and I'll meet you in there. I seriously don't think what Luigi says is anything that needs to be taken seriously... What do you mean I can say anything opinionated on the intercom?! Well fuck you and your motherfucking rules!"

The intercom beeped signaling the end of the announcement.

Zaneba whirled on her heels and sped down the hall to the stairs. Immediately she spilled into her History classroom and rushed over to her desk in the middle.

* * *

"Princess Zaneba, you're late agai-" "Shut the fuck up, I at least made it to class." Zaneba angrily snapped at Ms. MagiKoopa.** (A/N: Not Kammy, just a MagiKoopa) **

Zaneba sighed as she placed her head on her desk, trying to catch her breath. "Hey, how's it goin?" A laid-back voice purred in her ear.

"The fuck?!" Zaneba hissed easing away from the person. She rose her head meeting two devious brown eyes. She jumped a raised a hand to her chest. "Shit Waluigi! You scared me to death!"

The villain smirked and handed over a folded sheet of paper to the princess. "Pass that over to the cutie over there in the corner will ya?" He snickered slyly and placed his feet on the desk.

Zaneba eyed the note suspiciously before scanning the far right side of the room. Next to her, Lemmy was snoozing soundlessly, while Luvbi was next to him gawking shamelessly. But right next to her, a petite girl sat with her head down and her hair lying flat on her shoulders covering her face.

Zaneba sighed. "Looks like I'm gonna have to have make this delivery." She muttered. Looking over at MagiKoopa, who was having trouble finding the correct channel, Zaneba stealthily a slinked over to the tired girl. "Yo, girlie. I got something for you special delivery." Zaneba dropped the note on the desk as the girl sleepily rose up. "Who's it from?" She asked with a yawn.

"Read it and you might fucking find out!" Zaneba snapped impatiently.

"I don't need your smart remarks! Just because your a princess mean you've gotta be a bitch to everyone!"

Zaneba turned around and slammed her hands on the girl's desk. "Look I don't know who you are, but from what I can tell, you're pretty high, so I'll let you get away with this one! Now you listen and listen well, I don't have the fucking patience for druggies this morning! I have more important tasks to be dealing as of this moment! And that's trying to figure out what the fuck Luigi is up to!"

The girl clutched the note in her hands and glared at the angry princess. "Then why don't you go back to your seat, before the old wanton sees you up." She smirked as Ms. MagiKoopa turned to see Zaneba out of her seat.

"Miss Princess, I will have to write you up if you don-"

"I'M GOING TO MY SEAT, YOU OLD BIDDY!"

Turning on her blue flats, the angry princess of fire plopped down in her seat.

Waluigi snorted with laughter as the princess turned red with embarrassment.

"Say something and I break your neck!" Zaneba hissed.

"Alright, I think I've finally managed to correct the television settings... I think..." Ms. MagiKoopa announced to the class, revealing a static screen on the tv.

Lemmy yawned and sat up on his ball. "Geez, when I heard we were taking History classes, I didn't know we'd get someone who was _from_ old timey history."

The entire class burst into laughter as Ms. MagiKoopa turned her nose up at the small prince. "Well Mr. Koopa, if you think you're so smart, why don't you come up here and show the class how a dumbass fixes a tv?!" She demanded angrily.

Lemmy chuckled as he bounced over to the front of the class. "Sure thing, MagiKoopa."

Lemmy shoved the tv off the table and watched as it shattered into a million pieces. "Now let's go to the teacher's lounge! They have a flat screen tv in there!"

Zaneba laughed and fist pumped the air. "First time a Koopa proved to be useful!"

* * *

Princess Delia entered the office grabbing a muffin from the teacher's table as she passed. Unwrapping the choco-treat she stuffed in her mouth just as she ran into Luigi and Ludwig Von Koopa.

"Preencess Deleeya! Vhere 'ave you been?! Zee announcements start een ten meenutes!" Ludwig growled.

"Shut up short stalk, I've got all my notes and shit so I'm ready."

Luigi reached out to fluff up the princess's curly brown hair, but received a sharp pang in the wrist before making contact.

"You bit me?!" Luigi shrieked in pain.

"No dipshit, I fucking pinched your veins with my teeth- OF COURSE I BIT YOU!"

"Why?!" The green clad demanded.

"Neever mind zat!" Ludwig intervened raising his stubby arms. "Ve go on zee air in five!"

"I'm goin I'm goin!" Delia dropped her stuff on the floor and fixed up her hair a bit before turning to the two boys. "How's this?" She asked in a seductive voice.

"Fine, now go!" Luigi rushed her into the media room right behind the front office.

Princess Delia slid beside a blond boy at a long newscasting desk. "Hey." She muttered as she adjusted her seat.

"Sup, name's Lucas."

"You're hot."

"I'm taken." He growled.

"Understood."

Delia turned to the camera, adjusting her hair one last time she nodded to Iggy Koopa who was manning the camera from behind. "Alright we're goin' live people! So quiet on set!" He snapped. "In five, four, three, two..."

* * *

**So, what did ya think? I hope I didn't start fading away from the funny (all my inspiration comes from my crazed friends XP) And again I hope the character portrayals were accurate, if not PM me.**

**Second, I was asked about lemon...Lemon, fun to read and laugh at...but to me it is the most embarrassing thing to write...if I do get the nerve to write something like that then I most certainly will...but for now Im gonna stick to drugs, violence, and sexual conversations...**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing...I'm surprised that people actually read this...**

**~Raphadelia**


	5. Chapter 5

**Long time no see, I know. So I'll just make this short:**

**Two chapters, everyone is in it. (Sorry I hadn't really specified, Manic being present, but she was in the recent chapter, I promise.)**

**Disclaimer: Nintendo owns all but Noel, Manic, Primrose, Azalea, Lucas, Delia, and Zaneba. **

* * *

**What the Fuck?! Shit Happens... **

Delia puffed her chest out as she seductively looked into the camera. "Hello fair, hideous, and bad - or good- students of Super Mario High School! I'm Princess Delia."

"And I'm Lucas." The cute blonde put in.

"And this is 'What the Fuck?! Shit Happens!" The two chorused.

Delia flashed a cheesy smile at the camera as her co-anchor continued the announcements. "Lately, students have been complaining about our school's most recent budget cuts and financial issues."

"Well Student Council has come up with a perfect solution to cover all costs of this broke ass school." Delia giggled. "And Luigi will be taking the podium as he announces the possible solutions to help our most delicious...sexy...talented...fiery..."

Lucas made a face at Delia as she dazed out thinking of some of the hottest boys at the school. "...Uh...that's not in the fucking script-"

Iggy rolled his eyes and cut the camera to Luigi. "You two are by far the worst anchors this school has ever had."

"BITCH I WANNA SEE YOU DO BETTER!" Delia snarled at the slim Koopaling.

Iggy snapped with attitude. "Honey, I can out-anchor you any day! You. Don't. Want. None. A. This!"

Lucas rose from the table shaking his head. "While you two ruffle each others skirts, I'm gonna go get drunk with my girlfriend."

Delia smirked and lifted her chin smugly. "Uh-huh, get drunk? That ain't all you gonna do in there. Couples don't just get drunk in bathrooms. Except for Daisy and Luigi. Daisy can't stand the tiles on the floor..."

Lucas gave Delia a disinterested look. "Bitch, do I need to slap you?"

Delia lifted her hands up. "Brah! I'm right here!"

Iggy hopped over to the table in her defense. "And I got that ass too!"

"Got dat ass!" Delia repeated.

"Dat ass!" Iggy chimed.

"You two are fucking stupid." Lucas grumbled before leaving.

"Nah brah! We just cray! You don't know that backstory!" Delia called after him.

"He just don't know, he don't know." Iggy repeated.

* * *

Daisy sat on her desk as she watched the school broadcast. "Everybody! SHUT UP! LUIGI IS SPEAKING!"

Peach huffed. "Ugh, like I care what _he_ has to say. He never says anything that interests me anyway."

"BITCH THE ONLY THING YOU'RE INTERESTED IN IS SUCKING DICK AND GETTING LAID!"

A small green-faced girl giggled at Daisy's comment. "You're so funny, Daisy." The red head smiled and nodded.

"Thanks Mimi, now it shut it!" She snapped back to the television on the desk, eyes glued to the screen.

* * *

Zaneba walked over to the teacher's fridge and glanced at all it's contents. "Hey, Wals, you want anything to drink?" The olive haired princess turned over to Waluigi, seeing him leaning over the brunette haired girl she snapped at earlier.

She made a stink face before turning over to Luvbi, who was gawking over Lemmy's sleeping form. "Uh, Luvbi? You wanna stop being creepy, or nah?"

"Dost thou not see my fair prince resting his tired head? Dost thou not hath respect for the weary?!" The maiden growled.

"What? ENGLISH, NOT SHAKESPEARE!" Zaneba snarled.

"I ask thee to shut thy mouth and not let another word exit from thine lips. Or else thee shall unleash a wrath greater than thou hast ever gazed upon!"

"What?"

"Shut the fuck up or I'll kick your ass!" Luvbi snapped.

Zaneba shook her head, calming her broiling temperature. "I swear I'm gonna whoop some ass today! She growled and snatched a bag labeled _'Toadsworth's prop, back off peeps!_'.

As she filched a tasty looking sandwich from the bag, Luigi's Italian accent filled her ears. The girl who was steadily blushing from being cooed over by Waluigi looked up. "Oh, is Luigi starting his speech?"

Zaneba gave the girl an 'are you fucking kidding me?!' look. "Nawww, that's fucking Wario on crack in a damn green shirt and blue overalls- YES IT'S LUIGI!"

The girl rose to her feet and squared off with the mouthy princess. "What's your case, girlfriend?!"

"Says the bitch who had the nerve to mess with me in the morning!" Zaneba snapped back.

"Well, _excuuuuusssseeee_ me!" The girl growled placing a small hand on her petite waist. "I'm soooo sorry, your majesty! I didn't know I had to drop to my knees and kiss your ass like every other person at this school!"

Waluigi came between the the girls. "Whoa, calm your lady testicles! Princess Zaneba, calm your tits bro, Manic can be just as cool and easy-going as you, if you just give her the time of the day. Besides she's not in a good mood without her mPod."

Zaneba's eyes widened. "Giiiirrrrrl, you forgot your mPod too? I can't live without that thing!"

Manic smiled. "Yeah, I left mine in my locker. It was either a Fire Flower or the mPod...I only had time to grab one..."

Zaneba shrugged. "Getting high or music. Tough choice..."

"Precisely...Now you wanna watch a friend do his lame podcast or what?"

Zaneba plopped down on the teacher's table and turned her attention to the small screen. "You stole the words right out of my mouth."

* * *

"Alright all cameras are functioning fine, camera three lower your angle a little... And perfect." Rosalina spoke into her earpiece.

"I thought you vere getting high vith Mario and Noel zis morning?" Ludwig asked the tall princess.

Rosalina shrugged. "Luigi told me Toadette was out sick all this week, and no one could be in the control room watching the progress. So I stepped in for her. Luma is out now checking all monitors in the computer room..."

Ludwig nodded. "Vhere eez Primroze?"

"Dunno..." Rosalina replied not looking up from her work.

Ludwig sighed. "Sooo, are you free for zee weekend? Eeny upcoming plans?"

"Nope."

"Cool..."

"Yeah..."

"So I vas vondering-"

"RAPE!" Rosalina screamed at the top of her lungs making Ludwig cringe.

"VHAT?!"

"A KOOPALING IS TRYING TO CAPTURE ME!"

"Aww come on now, zat eez just racist! Or speciest...Or vhatever!"

The control room was suddenly overrun with tough looking students. Ludwig looked at each of them, eyes wide. "I vas only asking a question- Roy?! Vhat are you doing here? I thought you had band first peeriod?"

Roy folded his arms. "I don't go ta classes on days dat end wit 'y'."

"Zere eez a 'y' on zee ending ov everyday ov zee veek Roy, how do you manage to maintain a grade average at all?"

"Ya obviously don't know me well enough, bro." He motioned in the security team. "Get dat fool!"

Ludwig panicked and backed into a corner at the patrol edged forward.

* * *

Luigi cleared his throat and looked into the camera as he spoke. "I know this school has been suffering from recent budget cuts ranging from the teacher's lounge needing desperate renovations, to the smoking stalls in our bathroom. But I ask you, how will we maintain these pleasures without managed costs? We have gone through all tangible ways of getting funds, which have in the past failed tremendously...But I have a new solution. I have found a perfect foundation that will fit benefit needs of everyone here at this school. With Principal Toadsworth's approval, Student Council has already admitted Super Mario High School in...Battle of the Schools."

* * *

"WHAT?!"

* * *

**~Raphadelia**


	6. Chapter 6

**Battles at the School **

"That went well." Luigi purred as he stepped away from his podium and down the platform steps.

A blonde girl standing at the side of the platform, looked up from her clipboard shyly. "I don't know sir, I just received multiple reports from the front office, that a flood of students are rioting in the main hall. At the rate they are rampaging around our school will suffer more physical damage-"

"Primrose, do me a favor and stop talking, you're giving me a headache. Now, quit worrying about angry students and whatnot and prepare for the paperwork we need to finish."

"But Mr. President sir-"

"That was an order, Primrose." Luigi walked out of the conference room and down the hall to the media room. Delia and Iggy were engaged in a deep conversation about handbags- the fuck? - so the green clad hero decided it was best to leave them be. Next was the control room. Ludwig was struggling against the grabby hands of many students who were trying to rip him apart in what look like a barbaric form of dismemberment. "

Uh..." Luigi shook his head and doubled his pace to the front office.

As Primrose had warned him, the office was filled to the brim with angry students, and more coming. Mario, Daisy, Noel, Zaneba, and Peach were at the front encouraging the riot (who woulda guessed) along with Lucas and Azalea, the girl from the announcements.

Luigi's jaw dropped at the sight. "How the hell did all of you get in here?!" Was his first question, but a better would be: "How the hell did no one hear you from the media room?!"

"Two, four, six, eight! WE WANNA RENOMINATE!"

Luigi flinched at their harsh cheer. "Renominate? Uh oh, Luigi you're one and only chance to keep the student body calm and your true recognition as a hero, is on the line! Do something drastic! What would your older bro do? What would Mario do?!"

In His Mind 

**_Mario: I'd pull my dick out and whack a bitch until everyone shuts the fuck up!_**

In reality

Luigi mentally nodded. _That's right! "When in doubt whip it out!"_

Before the green clad hero could embarrass himself in front of the entire school, Daisy angrily approached him. "There you are 'igi!" She snapped. "What the fuck is this whole 'Battle of the Schools' bullshit?!"

Luigi turned light pink. "Well...uh..."

The entire office grew silent as Luigi cleared his throat to speak. "Quit choking on your dick and explain!" Azalea snapped.

"Alright! If you all listened to my broadcast, you would've had a full understanding of the events happening in Battle of the Schools!"

Mimi shook her head. "Sorry, bro. But if it doesn't have anything to do with getting high or killing off one of you Mario Bros, I'm out..." Half the students nodded in agreement and began to head towards the door.

Noel rolled her eyes. "Forget those bitches, 'igi. Just go on with explaining yourself."

Luigi nodded. "Thank you Noel, now as I was saying, this contest will not only be a great way for our school to bond as individuals, but also give us a fighting chance to win the fifty thousand coin prize money-"

Larry Koopa, who was one of the many students leaving, stopped abruptly. "Whoa, did you just say fifty thousand coin prize?"

"Yes I did."

"Now you're talking some sense! Go on with ya bad self!" Larry smirked.

"Actually, I'm good but that's not the point-"

A sudden appearance of Manic and Waluigi cut the hero short. "Hey, Luigi, man. I know we didn't get along in the past. But 'ey, me and Manic could have a shot at this Battle of the School thing. We could definitely kick some hard core asses out there!"

"DID I HEAR KICK AND ASS IN THE SAME SENTENCE?!" Daisy squealed. "Oh, 'igi! I _have_ to be in this thing!"

Noel and Zaneba exchanged eager grins. "We are so getting into that contest!"

The office soon became louder and louder with excited squeals, giggles, and chatter. "Um, excuse me..." Luigi tried to get their attention, but failed greatly.

Daisy groaned as her boyfriend's futile attempts to get their attention. "Look, Luigi. If you want those idiots to listen to you, you gotta be assertive. Or crazy stupid. You have two options, pull a Daisy, or pull a Mario."

"Which is the better option?" Daisy smirked and reached into her orange and green daisy covered backpack.

Luigi's eyes widened as she pulled out the item of interest. "Watch this," she smirked.

She angrily turned to the rough crowd an held up her arm, where a nice polished pistol sat in her palm. Pulling the trigger twice, two Bullet Bills fired through the air.** (A/N: The baby Bullet Bills that don't follow you)**

Bowser Jr. was the first to cower in fear. "OH SHIT, THEY SHOOTING!"

While everyone else cowered, Daisy, Peach, and Luigi remained standing. Daisy glared at her friend -err...acquaintance is more like it- giving her the 'wtf is your dumbass doing?!' look. "Now what if someone was really shooting, and your dumbass is just standing there looking around! I swear, you're just so fucking...GAH!"

Peach giggled and shrugged. "I knew it was you, Daisy. And you're my best friend you wouldn't hurt me."

"Yo' stupid ass obviously don't remember the power Tennis chapter we had! Want me to give you a reminder with this motherfucking gun?!"

Luigi lowered Daisy's arm, making her drop her defenses. "Daisy, we don't want you going back to prison. I love it when you're out."

"No, you just missed my pussy."

"That too..."

"Mhmm... So explain to us what the fuck is going on."

The students slowly began to rise to their feet, attention drawn back to Luigi. "Well. The prize money. It goes to our school if we win first place. And if we don't...we might have to shut down Super Mario High School..."

"The fuck man! I just got here!" Noel shouted angrily.

"Chica! You ain't tellin' me a damn thing!" Azalea chimed.

"If the school shuts down, where the fuck do we go, Luigi?!" Lucas demanded.

Luigi gulped. "Back to the games for us...but for the rest of you... It's to whatever high school you transferred from."

"Oh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll no!" Zaneba drew out. "The fuck I look like going back to that school for dumbass sluts, bitches, and hoes!"

"_This_ school is like that now..." Manic sighed.

"But, we got somewhat smart drunks, druggies, and assholes! I'm not getting pimped out to no body! I don't need that on my life again!" Zaneba snapped.

"Don't worry, Zaneba. I assure you this school will win first place, if we can all just pull it together. We work to our strengths, and everything will be chill. I promise."

"You better hold to that promise, Luigi! Or else!" Noel growled.

"I will, Noel. We just gotta pull ourselves together and-"

"Uh, Luigi..." Rosalina interrupted.

The green clad ran a gloved hand down his face, obviously annoyed. "What now, Rosa'?"

The celestial princess held her clipboard tightly, obviously upset about something. "WHOA! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Mario shouted. "SHIT! I THOUGHT YOU GIRLS KNEW HOW TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES!"

Roselina's eyes widened and looked down. Blood was running down her bare legs and from her private area on her short shorts. "What?! I'm not on my period! That's precisely what I wanted to talk to you about Luigi...You see, Ludwig-"

"I KNEW IT! THE FUCKING KOOPAS ARE RAPING PEOPLE NOW!" Daisy growled turning against the Koopa students.

Wendy O. held up her hands in defense. "Hey, don't blame me, I don't have a dick!"

Rosalina shook her head. "No! He didn't rape me! He's dead! The security team pulled him apart from the limbs, and blood splattered everywhere..."

"How the fuck did it get all over your vagina?" Bowser Jr. questioned.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?! Your eldest brother was just brutally murdered! And your brother, Roy, was on the staff team that killed him!"

"So we start the first practice for the Power Tennis Tournament this Saturday, for the actual tournament starts on the fifteenth of this month." Luigi broadcasted out to the students.

As they started to file out, Rosalina stared at them in shock. "Doesn't anyone care about the loss of a student?!"

"'Ey that's one less mess I got ta clean after you messy weedlings..." Janitor O'Chunks grumbled as he walked past her with a bucket and mop.

* * *

**Wow...that was messed up XD**

** Anyway, so Battle of the Schools is actually gonna be cool? Hmm, good deal...I hope I didn't mess up anyone's OC personality. If there's a problem, you know you can just say so (PM or review) either way is cool.**

**The next chapter should show up...eh...Around March 24...that's when I have spring break, heck I might even have a chance to update every day that week...but no promises, I've still got a lot of other stuff on my agenda as well.**

**Sorry, again, about my severe absense. I apologize for any errors I had no time to re-edit for the fifth time XP...(I'm trying to post while on my break)...**

**Lastly, thanks for reading and:**

**Ciao!**

**~Raphadelia the Adventuress**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, hey...It's the 24th! XD even though I don't have 2 chapters like I normally do...I tried to add a little more humor towards the end of this...My dear editor almost died when she read the ending XD...**

**It's is indeed short...And focuses a little more on the OCs...but the next chapter will be the competition...and then the Battle of the Schools plot kind of wavers away...Originally this story was supposed to have no plot...then it had a mystery plot...now it's like "Let's save the damn school!" -_-"**

**I get so lost sometimes...but until I get a flame I will suggest I am doping well. **

**I know Brandon doesn't really say anything and is only a brief cameo, but he should be to only OC besides Zaneba and Noel (cameo) who shows up...**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them...no one expect for Delia... Sorry for errors...I'm mega tired...it's been a long day at work XP and its 11:58 as I post XD**

**Anyway, enough talk~**

**2-Up!**

* * *

**Teach Me Your Ways**

Noel, Delia, Lucas, Azalea, Manic, Zaneba, and Primrose sat at a table nearest to the cafe door early on the morning before the Tennis Tourney practice date.

"Luigi says that there are five categories in this Battle of the Schools thing," Zaneba continued.

"Five? That's ridic...Who the fuck is gonna participate in five damn contests?" Noel grumbled.

Zaneba threw her hands up in the air. "I'm saying! That's what we've been telling his stupid ass for the past few days!"

"Well what are they? They might actually be worthwhile." Manic reasoned.

"I think they were something like: Atheletics, Academics, Creativity, Pride, the final concert round. Then each of them have like three to four subcategories..."

The others groaned.

"That's some fucked up shit..." Azalea muttered. "I'm gonna have to make sure I'm intoxicated for half of those events."

Lucas nodded. "What if we don't participate?"

"Our school loses, and eventually falls apart." Delia replied bluntly.

"Man, fuck that shit..." Noel growled.

Primrose, who said little to nothing the entire time, suddenly looked down at her cell phone. "Oh? Um, pardon my interruption, but Luigi just texted me all the subcategories for the Athletic competition."

"Why'd he send them to you? No offense, but I think as secretary in charge, I should've received that text." Delia huffed. Suddenly her phone went off making her check. "Never mind then..."

"Well don't be a hog, read it." Azalea encouraged.

"It says here...there's a Power Tennis category - tell me something I don't know -, Strikers Tournament, Rifle Range...Black Ops? Uh...okay and the Karting Course...of course... Everyone taking the Karting Class or have their license?"

The others shrugged. "Yeah, but I don't see myself in that whole Kart arena race thing..." Zaneba muttered.

"What's the Rifle Range?" Noel asked curiously.

"I think it may have something with shooting...maybe arrows...or some jiz..." Delia trailed off awkwardly.

"I might not be good at shooting but that strikers subcat sounds pretty good. Ball plus feet equals win for this school."

"I'm arranging the events for the school, so I'll be sure to put you on the list." Primrose offered kindly.

"The fuck?! Is Luigi _giving_ away our job or something?!" Zaneba snarled.

"That's a tragedy...but more about that shooting thing. Delia you _have_ to tell me everything you know!" Noel demanded.

Delia's green eyes widened as she leaned back. "Alright girlfriend, calm your biscuits...Uh...well...it consists of guns...and I dunno...I'm not really sure about the whole shooting thing...our school just might have to forfeit that part of the competition... But if Manic is as good as she says, our school's got it in the hole for soccer!"

"No way! Our school is winning every event in this stupid thing or my name is Noel fucking Portman! I'm gonna teach you guys the basics of shooting shit. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be able to shoot bottle caps off of Peach's flat ass. But if you miss...that's okay too..."

"Can we shoot apples off of her head like that one science guy did?" Zaneba asked excitedly.

"What science guy? There was a science guy?" Azalea asked confused.

"I dunno I was skimming through a physics book one day and found it somewhere...I'll look it up on Wikipedia just for you."

* * *

The angry sun glared down on the groups out on the shooting range. Daisy, Luigi, Mario, Peach, Rosalina, and a new student with them as well.

"Hey girls and guy..." Luigi added to Lucas. "This is Brandon, he's new to this high school, enrolled in as a ninth grader. Let's all be nice and introduce-"

"Luigi, we're not fucking two! We know how to meet new fucking students! Shit. Motherfucking bitchass wanting to do shit by the fucking rule book all the motherfucking time. Don't know when to calm the fuck down. Motherfucker..." Zaneba grumbled.

"Alright, now that you've used up the limit of curse words for this fanfiction..." Delia started. "Can we please get on with this lesson? I've got a choir class to get to."

"Sure...wait. Zaneba used up the limit of fucking swears we can use? Since when was there a fucking limit?!" Noel held up her hands in false surprise. "Someones gonna get that ass kicked if I can't fucking say shit I need to say!"

"FUCK! SHIT! BITCH! ASS!" Azalea shouted at the top of her lungs.

Luigi sighed as the rest of the group began to engage in profane conversations. Motherfucker, I'm gonna use all the damn profanity I want! FUCK YOU LUIGI! YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS HERE! I'm done...

Anyway, as everything died down, Luigi cleared his throat. "Now that you're all done-"

"Wait..." Daisy held up a finger to stop him. "Fuck. Okay now we're done..."

Luigi sighed. "Let's just practice the shooting range..."

Grabbing a pair of bright orange, bullet proof glasses, and a protective earmuffs, they were finally ready for their mid-afternoon lesson.

"Shooting 101. The basics, so elementary it's a shame none of you were born with this knowledge. Exception being Zaneba and Daisy who are crazy enough to learn this at age two... Now. Everyone pick up a fucking gun and shoot some shit." Noel waved her hand over to a basket of weapons.

Delia raised her hand.

"Is this question stupid?" Noel asked monotonously.

"Yeeeeeaaaaaa...no?"

"What?"

"What are we shooting?"

"The targets." Noel shrugged pointing towards photos hung along the side of the actual Rifle Range that belonged to the school.

"Wait, those are photos of me..." Peach whined.

"That's right." Noel smirked. She easily snatched up a gun and without looking shot a perfectly aimed bullet at the frilly princess's forehead.

"Nice shot!" Manic commented. "I think I should try." With that said she aimed at the Peach in front of her. However, even though her concentration was right, her aim was slightly off. Her bullet shot out quickly, veered left, hit a light pole and ricocheted back towards the group.

Instinctively everyone ducked, except for Peach who felt the bullet go straight through her shoulder.

"I told your stupid ass what would happen if you didn't duck! Now look at you!" Daisy snapped.

Peach screamed, holding into her shoulder, while wriggling in pain on the ground.

Noel shrugged. "Nice shot, Manic! Keep that up and you'll be the perfect marksman!"

* * *

**Alright! How was that? I dunno...it seemed to lack the zest I was going for, but hey. It's all chill...hopefully...I think I've got a mental block...Maybe...dunno...Anyways...Expect the next chapter...I just learned the rules of the Internet, so expect something like that...and a chapter about "Motherfucking Cheese".**

**My friends are my inspiration!**

**Good night/Morning!**

**~Raphadelia the Adventuress **


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